Coast Guard rules ban certain words in the naming of boats, even though it may not seem like it sometimes. These are the specific guidelines for boat naming, which are actually pretty lax.

 

“The name may not be identical, actually or phonetically, to any word or words used to solicit assistance at sea; may not contain or be phonetically identical to obscene, indecent, or profane language, or to racial or ethnic epithets.” 

 

The first part and the last parts make a lot of sense. However, the part about obscene, indecent or profane language leaves a lot open to interpretation, as we’ll see. Boaters are known for their senses of humor and that’s why funny boat names are so popular. But nowhere is that more clear than in the numbers of clever and, yes, inappropriate boat names you’ll run across in the harbor now and then.

Not everyone has the audacity to go ahead with a ballsy and even offensive name but when someone does, they really stand out. If you’re not the sort of person who wants classy Latin boat names, you need to think of something else. So, if you’re up for it, here’s our curated list of some of the best (or worst) inappropriate and banned boat names out there. Some are hilarious, some are cringeworthy, and some will maybe get you kicked out of the marina so tread carefully. Some names are definitely NSFW. Still, they may be great for your fishing boat or sailboat depending on your sense of humor and the sense of humor of the people around you. 

 

One additional rule that is less about content than form is that a boat name cannot be more than 33 characters in length. So you can potentially use short phrases but sentences and full quotes are almost always too long.

 

Inappropriate But Funny Boat Names Based on Ship Puns

Thanks to the fact that ship sounds very similar to one of the most common swear words in existence, ship puns are huge for boats. Technically this does seem to violate the Coast Guard rule on inappropriate terms being phonetically similar but there are so many boats that use these names it doesn’t seem to be enforced. 

 

  1. In Deep Ship
  2. Ship Happens
  3. Ships N’ Giggles
  4. Bullship
  5. Shiphead
  6. Talkin’ Ship
  7. Ship Poster
  8. Ship the Bed
  9. Ship Storm
  10. Shippin’ Bricks
  11. Brick Ship House
  12. Ship House Rat
  13. Ship on a Shingle
  14. Ship Disturber
  15. Chicken Ship
  16. Sack of Ship
  17. Hot Ship
  18. Ship Kicker
  19. Ship Heel
  20. Ship-Eatin’ Grin
  21. I Ship You Not
  22. Are You Shipping Me?
  23. My Ship Don’t Stink
  24. Going Apeship
  25. Bullship Artist
  26. Holy Ship
  27. King Ship
  28. King Ship of Turd Island
  29. Pile of Ship
  30. No Ship, Sherlock
  31. Eat Ship
  32. Too Old For This Ship
  33. Ship Or Get Off the Pot
  34. Little Ship
  35. Whale Ship
  36. Jack Ship
  37. Bat Ship Crazy
  38. Cut the Ship
  39. Does a Bear Ship in the Woods?
  40. Like a Fly on Ship
  41. Don’t Give a Ship
  42. Some Good Ship
  43. A Pig in Ship
  44. Shipcanned
  45. I Feel Like Ship
  46. Looks Like Ship
  47. Ship for Brains
  48. Dipship
  49. What the Ship?
  50. Scared Shipless
  51. What a Shiphole
  52. Load of Ship
  53. Crock of Ship
  54. So Full of Ship
  55. Bad Case of the Ships
  56. Up Ship’s Creek
  57. Ship Outta Luck
  58. The Ship Hit the Fan
  59. Ship from Shinola
  60. Stir Ship Up
  61. Get Your Ship Together
  62. Losing My Ship
  63. Ship Sandwich
  64. On My Ship List
  65. Ship Tickets
  66. Having a Ship Fit
  67. Same Ship, Different Bay
  68. Don’t Ship Where You Eat
  69. Ship Through a Goose
  70. Shooting the Ship
  71. Ship My Pants
  72. Know Your Ship
  73. Ship Show
  74. Ship End of the Stick
  75. Tough Ship

 

Dirty Boat Names Based on Body Part Puns

Making jokes that play off of body parts or functions is another popular trend for inappropriate boat names. Bass and Aft are two big ones here because of their closeness to the real word they’re parodying, but as you’ll see a few others sneak in as well. 

 

  1. Salty Test Tackles
  2. Huge Test Tackles
  3. Aft Hole
  4. Bass Hole
  5. Aft Kicker
  6. Bass Kicker
  7. Kiss My Aft
  8. Kiss My Bass
  9. Jack Aft
  10. Jack Bass
  11. Aft Kisser
  12. Bass Kisser
  13. Aft Backwards
  14. Bass Ackwards
  15. Hauling Aft
  16. Hauling Bass
  17. Whoop Aft
  18. Whoop Bass
  19. Bustin’ Aft
  20. Bustin’ Bass
  21. Pain in the Aft
  22. Pain in the Bass
  23. Aft Over Teakettle
  24. Bass Over Teakettle
  25. Bass, Gas and Grass
  26. Piece of Bass
  27. Kicking Bass and Taking Names
  28. Bass Lickin’
  29. Dixie Normous
  30. My Dixie Wrecked
  31. Big Deck
  32. Pencil Deck
  33. Suck My Deck
  34. Whiskey Deck
  35. Deck All
  36. Deckhead
  37. Limp Deck
  38. Spotted Deck
  39. Big Deck Energy
  40. Suck My Deck
  41. Decked Down
  42. Deck Measuring Contest
  43. Chicks Before Decks
  44. Hot Ruddered Bums
  45. Tail Chaser

 

Inappropriate Boat Names Based on Dirty Puns

Sometimes just a general dirty joke gets the job done. Here’s where plays on the word naughty come out to shine.

 

  1. For Fox Sake
  2. B’Yachtch
  3. Berth Control
  4. The Sea Word
  5. Play Buoys
  6. Nauti Girl
  7. Nauti Nurse
  8. Nauti Buoy
  9. Nauti Time
  10. Nauti By Nature
  11. Sex Sea
  12. Cunning Stunts
  13. Tide in Knots
  14. The Dirty Dangler
  15. Worm Dangler
  16. Love Mussel
  17. Aquadesiac
  18. Seaduction
  19. Fueling Around
  20. Wake and Bake
  21. Fishnets
  22. B. Knotty
  23. La Seavious Acts
  24. Motorboater
  25. Shellfish in Bed
  26. Pervy Scurvy
  27. Salty Swallow
  28. Between the Sheets
  29. Buck Naked
  30. Sin or Swim
  31. Twice a Knight
  32. Oily Beef Hooked
  33. Passing Wind
  34. Passing Bass
  35. Port-a-Party

 

Sex-Themed Inappropriate Boat Names

Sex-themed boat names are really popular. Some can be pretty cliche and maybe come across as a little juvenile, but people still use them. And remember, it’s your boat and you spent money on it so feel free to name it whatever makes you happy.

 

  1. Doggy Style
  2. Master Baiter
  3. Summer Hummer
  4. Blew Bayou
  5. She’s Wet Again
  6. Constantly Wet
  7. Dripping Wet
  8. Wet Dream
  9. Blow Hard
  10. Blow Me
  11. Wet Spot
  12. For Wetter or Worse
  13. In Her Course
  14. Drips Ahoy
  15. Jetting Wetter
  16. Full of Seamen
  17. Floating Seamen
  18. Wasted Seamen
  19. Blow Jib
  20. Tie Me Up
  21. Panty Puller
  22. Oar House
  23. Filthy Oar
  24. Dirty Oar
  25. Cheap Oar
  26. Oaring Around
  27. The Reach Around
  28. Morning Would
  29. Thong Chaser
  30. The Money Shot
  31. Booty Hunter
  32. American Booty
  33. Call of Booty
  34. Reel Booty
  35. Still Jerkin
  36. Casting Couch
  37. Shameless Hooker
  38. Dirty Hooker
  39. Cheap Hooker
  40. High Priced Hooker
  41. Happy Hooker
  42. Wrecks Appeal
  43. Wrecks Kitten
  44. Wrecks and the City
  45. Wrecks Life
  46. Wrecks Machine
  47. Wrecks Drive
  48. Wrecks Object
  49. Wrecks on the Beach
  50. Wrecks Symbol
  51. Wrecks Starved
  52. The Joy of Wrecks
  53. Wrecks Talk
  54. The Opposite Wrecks
  55. Wrecksting
  56. IV Play
  57. Airgasm
  58. Boats n’ Hoes
  59. Glory Haul
  60. Moisture Missile

 

The Dirtiest Boat Names

 

We’re hiding this one at the bottom. If you made it this far then maybe you’re not easily offended so these over the top names could be right up your alley. Would I name my boat any of these things? No. But I would laugh if I saw your boat with one of these inscribed on it,

 

  1. Bass 2 Mouth
  2. Fillet Show
  3. Camel Tow
  4. Cummin Hard
  5. Seek Hunt

 

Names to be Cautious Of

 

Like I said above, the Coast Guard will ban certain names and not allow you to use them. You can’t call your boat something like “Coast Guard One” or “Mayday.” Nothing that makes you sound like an official rescue or government/law enforcement vessel. Likewise you can’t use terms like Mayday that are related to rescue at sea. 

 

Here are a few words that will not get past registration:

 

  • Help
  • Mayday
  • Coast Guard
  • Police
  • Man Overboard
  • Sinking 

 

While the inappropriate words you can and can’t use can be debated based on the Coast Guard’s vague rules, remember one other thing if you want to push the limits with your boat name – there’s more than the Coast Guard at sea. If you’re using a marina, or are interested in joining a boating club or yacht club, they are well within their rights to ban any boat they don’t want around for a reason simple as a name they deem offensive. 

 

The Bottom Line

 

The Coast Guard does have rules about what you can and can’t name a boat but they specifically ban anything that could be confusing in an emergency situation. Other names are supposed to not be offensive but there’s a lot of latitude in how that’s interpreted. That said, don’t forget that your local harbor or boating club could ban you for a name they find offensive. Likewise, if it’s a name you’d be embarrassed to show off to your mom or your coworkers, you might want to rethink it. But if you still feel like your inappropriate name is right for your boat, then best of luck!